


Dinner with Janet

by alyjude_sideburns



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Character Study, Drama, First Time, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 06:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyjude_sideburns/pseuds/alyjude_sideburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel has an interesting conversation with his friend over dinner</p><p>Originally published in 2006</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner with Janet

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: Takes place after Moebius I and 2 - and yes, obviously after Heroes, which means Janet is gone. This is my tribute to her.

**Dinner with Janet by Sideburns**

 

Daniel let himself in and actually sighed with relief. It felt good to be home. It was still light outside, a rarity in and of itself. He was usually walking in his front door about the time the moon was getting ready to trade places with the sun. He dumped his keys on the small table by the door and slipped out of his jacket. He hung it up and wandered into the kitchen, as much out of curiosity as hunger; it had been awhile since he'd actually eaten at home and he couldn't help but wonder if anything still lived. The refrigerator yielded one fairly new head of lettuce, a plastic container of three-day-old spaghetti --sans sauce, which had gone moldy a day earlier, a tube of Grands biscuits, orange juice – which he took out and downed in two gulps – a block of still-good Parmigiano Reggiano cheese and three eggs.

Wow. He was under-whelmed. He flirted with the idea of calling for take-out, but he really wanted to be alone – as in really alone. His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn't eaten since the bagel for breakfast. Okay, let's see what magic could come out of the meager offerings of his fridge. After staring at the contents for a few moments, he finally decided on making a spaghetti frittata and a salad. He pulled out the eggs, cheese and spaghetti, grabbed a frying pan and a bowl, set the pan on the stovetop and the bowl on the counter with the food. He broke each egg and dropped them into the bowl, stirred with a fork and wondered if he still had that jar of chopped garlic. He dove back into the fridge and found it in the door. Cool. He dumped in just enough for a sweet bite before adding salt and pepper to the eggs. The pasta went in next. He grated some of the cheese, added it to the bowl and made another foray into the fridge. He was pretty certain he had olives.

Yes!

He took out the jar and plucked the last four out. He chopped, dumped and, after a final stir with the fork, turned on the fire under the pan and added enough olive oil to coat the bottom. While that was heating up, he put together a small salad and set it on the table. The pan was hot enough so he dumped the egg mixture into it and let it set. He was pretty certain he'd seen a bottle of already-open wine in the fridge – YES!

He grabbed it, closed the fridge door and gloated over the chardonnay. His stomach growled again and he patted it. "Soon," he told it.

He checked the frittata by gently lifting one edge – okay, almost done. Just enough time to get out a wine glass before popping the frittata into the oven to finish off the top.

Five minutes later, when the timer went off, he put the mitt back on and pulled out the pan. He slid the now cooked egg mixture onto his plate, grabbed some salad dressing – in this case, bleu cheese, and turned toward the small dinette table.

And froze.

He blinked several times, opened and closed his mouth an equal number of times – and finally said, "Janet?"

***

Janet walked through the front door and stopped. She'd never actually seen Daniel's new home. She looked around with interest and frowned slightly. It was nice, sure, but so much simpler than his loft apartment. Which was odd. Where was the life? The texture? His loft apartment had reflected Daniel's love for his career and the beauty of history, but his new home held very little of that, or so it seemed to her.

She could hear him in the kitchen, so decided to look around. She refused to call it prying. It wasn't even curiosity. It was more like... concern. Yeah, that was it. Concern.

She walked down the hall and checked the bathroom; nice but nothing spectacular. She poked her head in the door to Daniel's bedroom – and smiled. Okay, this was definitely Daniel. Books and more books, and color. It was too small for Daniel, so was the bed – and what was with that bed anyway? She would undoubtedly have been comfortable in it, but then, she was – or had been – a shade over five feet. Daniel was almost a foot taller.

Janet gave a small shake of her head.

Men.

She walked out and went further down the hall. Another door, this one closed. Should be the second bedroom, which she would have assumed Daniel would turn into a study. She walked through the door and stopped just inside.

Okay, another oddity. Boxes. He'd turned the second room into a ... storage room?

Janet walked out and down the hall toward the living room. Daniel without a study was like a day without ... orange juice. It just wasn't possible or conceivable. She was suddenly very glad she'd decided to stop by here after visiting first Cassie and then the SGC. Of course, it had been an easy decision considering the fact that Daniel had been with her when she'd....

Yes, well.

She reached the kitchen and paused in the entry way.

Daniel looked so good.

It always amazed her when a moment would come that would remind her just how handsome Daniel really was. Such moments often took her breath away.

Like now.

Not that she had breath left, of course. Being dead and all. But still. At the moment, in his civvies, with the last of the sun's rays pouring in from the garden window over the sink, Daniel looked the way she should. Ethereal. Unreal. And incredibly beautiful. Okay, that last part wasn't how she should look, but the ethereal part was. After all, most would consider her a ghost and therefore, certainly ethereal.

God, she was babbling. Time to take a load off. She moved easily over to the table and sat down. She wasn't sure why she was staying, but she felt strongly that she should.

A moment later, Daniel, hands full with his dinner, turned toward her... and froze.

She blinked in disbelief. No, no, it wasn't possible.

"Janet?"

Oh dear God, Daniel could see her.

***

"Janet?"

"You can see me."

"Evidently," he said, still unable to move.

"You're not supposed to be able to see me."

Her tone, so clearly shocked, managed to spur him toward movement. He almost rushed forward in his attempt to sit down and as a result, almost lost his dinner. He set it down on the table and sank into the chair.

"You're not supposed to be able to see me," Janet said again.

"So you say." It seemed the right thing to say.

They stared at each other and Janet suddenly smiled. Something inside of Daniel unwound and he grinned in return.

"Your house, Daniel, it's .... very different from the apartment. Not that I don't like it, it's just... different."

"Feels odd most days, what with having to worry about plumbing, lawns, wiring and the likes." He leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. "You know what really gets me?"

Matching his posture, she said, "No, what?"

"A garage. I have a garage."

"Well, houses usually do. So why is your car in the driveway?"

He looked at her in surprise and said, "Have you seen the size of the spiders that live in garages? I swear some of them are bigger than the damn car."

Janet was so surprised, she found herself suddenly laughing. After a moment, Daniel joined her. When she could speak, she said, "Daniel, you've taken down Goa'uld system lords so I wouldn't think a few spiders would be a problem."

"Jan, if I could get Baal or any other system lord in my garage, the war would be over. Some of the spiders in there are this," he spread his arms out, "big. Hell, Anubis would have given up all ideas of taking over Earth if he'd seen the arachnids in my garage."

"Big bad Daniel Jackson, afraid of a few spiders. Who'd have thunk it?"

"What can I say?"

Janet indicated the plate and said, "Eat before it gets cold."

Daniel automatically picked up the fork even as he said, "How are you here?"

"God, Daniel—"

His head jerked up. "God?"

"No, no, I mean... you interrupted me. I was saying... oh, lord. Look, I was only going to say, 'God, Daniel, that is so typical of you'." At his quizzical look, she said, "You know, by not asking me am I here or even why?"

"You're clearly here, Janet. The only question is how. I can tell you're not ascended and I sure as hell hope you're not trapped here, because honestly, here? At my place? Whose strange idea of a joke would that be?"

"Whoa, hold up, Daniel. You can tell I'm not ascended?"

One eyebrow – and she'd always been envious of his eyebrows – arched. "Well, once you've kind of done it – you know, it's kind of simple to see...."

"Oh. Of course."

He cocked his head. "So? How?"

"Oh, that. I'm not really sure. I kind of ... showed up at the house, checked on Cassie, then moved easily on to the SGC—"

"We're taking good care of her, Jan. I swear to you—"

Her gaze softened. "I know, Daniel. I could see that. Our jobs carried a certain risk but I always knew that if anything happened to me – all of you would be there for her." Her eyes darkened for a moment. "But I was surprised to find that... well, I kind of assumed that Sam would take Cass in, but she hasn't."

Daniel looked away for a moment as he said, "Well, Annie Ferretti got the idea... she and Lou had been living with her brother and his wife in that big house on Everest, but they were all starting to ... and you know how she's always felt about Cassie, and you know how Cass feels about your house... so it seemed a slam dunk."

"I see," Janet said thoughtfully. "And Sam was all right with that?"

"Well, it gave Cass someone to count on ... if ... you know," he finished lamely.

"I see."

Daniel began to play with his food and Janet had to smile. How often had she sat with him in the commissary only to watch him do this very thing? It was so Daniel. He'd either scarf everything down in front of him and then start eyeing everyone else's plates, or he'd do what he was doing now.

"Something on your mind, Daniel?" she asked with a soft smile.

"What, you mean other than the fact that I'm sitting at my kitchen table with you? Nope, nothing."

Smile widening, she said, "Hey, I'm just as surprised as you are. I was *not* prepared to be seen. That is definitely not in the rules."

"Rules? You have rules?"

She thought for a moment and finally nodded. "I'd have to assume so. Which might bring us back to why I'm here and why you can see me?"

"Why *are* you here, as in, specifically, here at my place? I can see you checking in on the Infirmary, making sure all was well with your 'kids'. And sure, dropping in on Sam, after all, she's your best friend. And I can even see you dropping by Jack's because we all know you have – had – have – a soft spot in your heart for him, but why on earth would you come by here? And did you know that technically speaking, being *able* to come here goes against all known abilities of ghosts?"

Slightly taken aback, Janet said, "Well, assuming I *am* ghost – we have known abilities?"

"Pretending for a moment that you are a ghost, yes, you have known abilities. Like... passing through solid objects. But a ghost isn't supposed to be able to go places it didn't frequent in life."

His cheeks suddenly went pink and Janet was pretty sure it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She decided to feed his embarrassment. "So you know all of this how? It's not exactly within the realm of your expertise, Daniel."

He scratched behind his ear in what could only be considered the second cutest thing she'd ever seen, and said, "Well, uh, you see – in grad school I did a paper on the supernatural, paranormal, that kind of thing. I was kind of – rebelling – maybe. Sort of."

"And you'd be rebelling against?"

"My professor. He had the gall to tell me I was," Daniel sighed, "single-minded, stubborn, and refused to see anything beyond my nose – which was ridiculous because—"

"You were never interested in things just beyond your nose – you needed to look much farther than that."

Grinning, Daniel said, "Exactly. So to prove him wrong, I turned down a summer dig and spent it studying ghosts. When I turned my conclusions in to my prof, well, he didn't like my conclusions there either."

"Which ...were?"

"Oh, well, see, it seemed to me as I investigated certain paranormal activity in the New York area that a ghost became a ghost for one of three reasons. Either they were being held back by something unfinished in their lives – which blinded them to the ability to move on, or the denial of their death was so strong, they couldn't move on because they weren't, in their minds -- dead, or they'd been given the opportunity to come back in order to help someone."

"What about the kind of ghosts that supposedly do terrible things? They wouldn't fit into any of your three categories."

"Ah," Daniel said, clearly warming to the subject, "that's what my professor said. But you see, my theory was that ghosts are harmless, other than showing up and scaring you for the obvious reasons. Therefore, when you came across something more violent, it wasn't a ghost."

"Let me guess – it was a Goa'uld?"

"Ha-ha."

"Who knew this about you?"

"Lights and bushels, Jan. Lights and bushels." He grinned.

"So... of those three, which category do you think I fit into?"

"Well, under normal circumstances, and if you were a ghost, well, you obviously know you're ... you know... so that can't be it. So I'm guessing that you'd feel there's something left undone – maybe with Cassie?"

Janet shook her head. "No, Cassie is all right, all things considered. I miss her terribly but I know she's okay."

"It's been rough on her, Jan. Very rough. Sam thinks she's strong, but in reality – well, she loved you very much and every day has been a struggle."

Janet bowed her head. "I know. But she's moving forward, living, and that's how I know she's okay."

He looked at her with a strange expression on his face as he said, "You might want to consider... I mean...."

He stopped, shook himself slightly, and grinned. "Rambler here. Okay, so if you're not here for Cassie, then it must be someone – or something – else." Suddenly he snapped his fingers. "Sam. It must be Sam."

"Why Sam?"

"Oh, come on, you know she's not happy – not entirely. And now – with Jacob's death – and neither one of them making a move – and yet they've come to an understanding, you can see it in their faces, the way they look at each other—"

"Sam and ... Jacob?" Janet asked, totally puzzled now.

"Fer crying out loud, no. Sam and Jack. You know darn well how Sam felt – feels – about him and has felt for years. Well, I think they... look, we spent the weekend at Jack's cabin but he and Sam stayed on for another week, see? But now ... well, nothing is happening – not that I think anything happened at the cabin, because I don't. But neither one seems to be willing ... and I can see the shadow in Sam's eyes and you were her best friend, so I'm betting you're here for her."

Stunned, Janet sat back in the chair. "Are you saying that they might have... that they admitted... and yet... have done nothing to make it happen?"

Daniel nodded slowly even as he raised his coffee cup to his lips. He took a sip, swallowed, and said, "That's got to be it. You're here for Sam. She needs you Janet. I can't talk to her—"

"Why not? You and she have always been like brother and sister. She's always trusted you to—"

He shook his head. "Not anymore, Jan. No more confidences, no more shared anything."

His voice sounded so... sad. Janet would have given anything to be able to reach over and take his hand. Damn, what had she missed even before her death? Although, come to think of it – Sam's feelings toward Daniel had changed. She tried to pinpoint the time... okay, she'd been ecstatic when he'd been returned to them... but only a few weeks later... yes, that's when everything started to change.

"Are you hungry?" Daniel suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Hungry?"

She looked at his plate and realized... that she was. "I am... apparently. I'm thinking that's not normal."

"Oh, I'm thinking it's perfectly normal," he said, his expression guarded.

Too hungry to worry about it, she said lightly, "Well, you're the expert." With that, she reached over and plucked a small piece of the frittata from his plate and popped it into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully and her eyes widened. "I can taste it."

"More importantly – you were able to touch it, to take it off my plate. Thief."

His sudden grin was infectious and Janet found herself reaching again. He smacked her hand lightly, got up, took another fork out of the drawer and brought it back. He made a grand gesture of handing it off to her before moving his plate and salad between them so they could share.

"Dig in."

She did, but she was still wondering how she could be hungry and how Daniel knew she could be hungry – and how in the hell he could be so damn accepting. Of everything.

***

He sat back, full and satisfied even as he glanced at the empty dish and salad bowl, and his almost empty glass of wine. Reaching for it, he took a large swallow and then smiled as he thought back to Janet's refusal to join him. She'd said something about how ghosts might be able to eat, but it would just plain dangerous if they drank alcohol too. He looked over at the bottle and realized that it, like his glass now, was empty. No wonder he felt so good. He had a nice buzz going so that even discussing Jack -- and Sam -- wasn't bringing him down.

Janet patted her tummy and said, "I'm actually full, Daniel. This is very weird. You should consider a paper on it. Ghosts and Full Stomachs. Whatcha think?"

He grinned. "I think I have enough on my plate, actually. But I'll see if I can't pass the idea onto someone."

She smiled back at him and then said thoughtfully, "Okay, so if I'm here for Sam, but only you can see me – how do I help her? And what would be the best way to help?"

"Maybe just being with her, talking to her while she's asleep – or – something like that," he said sheepishly.

"You mean ... like a subconscious thing?"

"Yeah, exactly. Maybe you can find out what she really wants and help her find it – get it – him -- whatever," he finished lamely.

Janet frowned at that because somehow – it didn't sound right. Not that doing that would be wrong, only that it didn't sound like the reason she was here. It just didn't ring true.

"Daniel, I don't think I'm here for Sam. I think it's altogether possible that Sam's made her decision and that she's comfortable now. She certainly seemed that way at the SGC. I felt no – conflict -- within her."

"Okay, then, my theories are wrong and you've just kind been missing everyone and you needed to drop in and check on your staff. How's that?"

Janet couldn't help but notice how Daniel's eyes were now a bit too bleary and his speech a bit too slow. He was drunk and working hard to hide it. Which gave her a brainstorm.

"Daniel, I think I'm here for you."

He chuckled at that and said, "Me? Why on earth would you be here for me? Do you see any problems in my life? I don't think so. I go to work, I translate, I help save the world, I come home."

"Yes, I can see where you'd wonder why I'd be here for you," she said sarcastically. "Such an envious life."

He clutched his heart. "I'm wounded here. My life is fun."

"Right." She drummed her fingers on the tabletop in thought. What she needed was history. After all, she'd been gone a year now. She needed an opening gambit. And as suddenly as she thought it – she had it.

"You know what I'd like to know—"

"What?"

"How on earth did Jack become General O'Neill? I mean, you can imagine my shock when I popped up at the SGC today. Not that I doubt his ability – there's no one I'd rather see running the SGC – I just didn't think our government felt the same way."

Janet watched Daniel's eyes light up as he leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. "He does make a great general, doesn't he? And no one deserves it more."

"But how? Where's General Hammond? Did he finally retire?"

Daniel shook his head rather sloppily. "Nope. He's now head of Homeworld Security." He waved his hand in the air – for no apparent reason – and added, "You're going to love this, Janet. Okay, here's what happened. Anubis was on his way to attack Earth, see?"

Janet sat back, smiled – and listened.

***

So many conflicting emotions.

She'd been listening to Daniel for over an hour as he caught her up on the life she'd been missing. She'd had questions – many questions – but she'd held off, waiting until he finished for fear of stopping the flood of history. Lord, who'd ever said that listening to Daniel was boring had been lying.

"... and that brings us to the here and now."

She sat back and whistled low, an action that brought another infectious grin to Daniel's face. She smiled back, but then said, "I'm kind of puzzled. I mean – I get it all – in a way, but how could there now be fish in Jack's lake?"

"I haven't a clue – but it didn't really bother Jack, so I'm sure not going to worry about it."

"But maybe you should?" she offered.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure." She rubbed the back of her neck, "except that – maybe – something changed that shouldn't have?"

He shrugged again and said, "If so, there's nothing we can do about it now, is there? And we're here, alive; we have the 'Gate and everything seems – fine. Except for fish in Jack's lake, of course." He gave her a lopsided grin, one borne of too much wine.

A part of her was stuck on the fish while another part wanted to delve deeper into the history of the last year and how it must now be affecting Daniel – but maybe the two were actually related? Lord, she was confused. Okay, one step at a time. She thought back over the last hour and -- as she relived it – one aspect of the hour stood out like a beacon. Why hadn't she seen it immediately – recognized it immediately?

My God.

Good grief, why hadn't she seen it all along? Because now that she thought back on her years with the SGC – it was there. Bright, lustrous, beautiful to behold. It shone from Daniel like the brightest star on the darkest night.

Daniel was in love with Jack.

Suddenly the object of her epiphany leaned forward, his expression changing so fast it made her head spin. And considering she was a ghost and could probably make her head spin, that was saying something. One minute he had the dreamy look of a man in love and the next, it was like clouds blocking the sun. His eyes went dark, his face infinitely sad as he said, "I'm sorry, Jan. So sorry."

Okay, that made no sense within the context of their discussion. What could he possibly be sorry about?

"It should have been me," he suddenly said, more to himself than to her.

Two epiphanies in such a short time. Her head might start spinning any moment.

"Daniel—"

"No, no, you know I'm right. It should have been me, not you. Not you, of all people, Jan. So many need you; Cassie, your friends, the SGC and every person who goes through that 'Gate. It should have been me. I don't even know how that Jaffa got through or why I leaned back at that precise moment, but—"

"Daniel, don't you think you've died enough for all of us?"

She'd hoped her words would stop the rollercoaster of Daniel's emotions -- and it did. He looked at her, eyes wide with surprise. But what happened next was not what she'd hoped. Daniel burst out laughing.

Would he never stop surprising her?

Finally he wiped at his eyes, his laughter dwindled to chuckles and he said, "Oh, Jan, you have no idea."

Okay, that was an interesting tidbit.

And now she was certain. She *was* here for Daniel. And something *had* gone wrong. But could she put it right? Could she help Daniel?

She sure as hell was going to try. Did ghosts cuss?

Apparently.

***

Daniel gave the counter a final wipe down before tossing the sponge into the sink. Janet grinned at him as she put the plate and bowl away for him and said, "Living room and coffee?"

"Okay, that – sounds - weird," Daniel said, his words carefully enunciated.

"Why?" Janet asked as she poured Daniel's coffee – into the largest mug she could find.

"Shouldn't sound weird, I ... suppose. Shared my dinner with a glo--ghost, why not coffee and more talk in the living room?"

Nodding happily, Janet, mug in one hand and Daniel's arm in the other, led him out of the kitchen and over to the comfortable couch. "Sit." He sat and she handed him the coffee before sitting down next to him. She kicked off her shoes, tucked her legs under her and sighed contentedly.

Daniel just stared at her.

"What?" she finally asked.

"Nothing. Just... nothing." He canted his head, closed one eye, and looked at her. "Making yourself comfortable, are we?" he finally asked.

"Very," she said with a grin.

"Oh, well, as long as you're comfy, I'm happy."

"Good."

They enjoyed a companionable silence while Daniel quietly sipped his coffee, but finally Janet couldn't keep quiet. She touched his arm lightly and asked, "Why didn't you ever ask me out?"

Unfortunately, he was taking another sip when she decided to end the silence with her 'out-there' question. Consequently, coffee shot across the space between the couch and coffee table.

"Whoops," she said guiltily.

Daniel wiped his mouth and, while sopping up the liquid, asked, "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Your mouth?" she said innocently.

"Jan, what on earth possessed you to ask—"

"Got your attention, didn't it?"

"I wasn't aware that it was straying."

"It wasn't such an outlandish question, Daniel. There aren't that many years between us that—"

"I didn't think there were any—"

"Don't be silly. I'm five years older than you, same as Sam."

His eyes grew round behind his glasses as he said, "Oh. Oh."

She smiled and said, "I've missed that."

"What?"

"That little boy-lost look. It's very endearing."

"Tell me you're joking."

"I'm not. It was always guaranteed to make all my nurses swoon."

She wasn't surprised to see the tinge of red on his cheeks. He was just so – Daniel. Still. In spite of the haunted darkness in his eyes.

"Okay, so where did that question come from?" he finally said after gulping down another swallow of coffee.

"Curiosity."

"I see. Well, to tell the truth, I always kind of thought that you... well, Jack... and it just seemed that you kind of ... you know... Jack."

"You think I had feelings for ... Col—General – O'Neill?"

"Well, yes."

Janet knew that if she could – she'd be blushing now.

"Ah, ha. I was right," Daniel said with satisfied grin.

"I admit only to a certain... admiration ... at the most," she said defensively.

"Uh, huh. Right. You and every other woman on base," he said with a knowing smile. "And I'm sure they call it 'admiration' too," he added with a wink.

"You rat," she said, grinning. She plucked at an imaginary something-or-other on the cushion and asked nonchalantly, "Is there anyone on base you *would* ask out, Daniel?"

"Jan, what's this all about? Why the sudden interest in my love life? Or lack thereof."

"Hey, can't a girl be curious? Good looking guy – okay, exceptionally good looking guy – a base full of eligible women, most of whom go out of their way to be noticed by you, it seems a natural question."

She watched him as he watched her, eyes narrowed in thought. She decided to help him along. "Daniel? Probable ghost here."

He rubbed at his right temple and then surprised her by saying, "I have a feeling there's nothing I could tell you that you don't already know, Jan."

She nodded. "You took the whole -- admiration – thing to the next level."

"Yeah, yeah, I did."

"So you're no stranger to male-ma—"

"No."

"You hid it well."

"Jan? Military base?"

"Good point."

"And speaking of Jack – aren't you going to go," he waggled his eyebrows at her, "do something about Sam?"

She rested her chin on the palm of her hand and regarded her friend. When he continued to look expectantly back at her, she said, "Even though it means losing the person you love?"

His bark of bitter laughter shocked her, his next words only adding to the feeling.

"Lose the person I love? Please. I lost Jack O'Neill a long time ago. Don't you know that? I lost all of them when I chose to go with Oma. Not that I haven't tried to earn their respect and friendship again, and not that there hasn't been a degree of success, but it's nothing like it was. Nothing. And Jack and I?" He turned his head and looked out the sliding doors, his gaze going distant. "Jack and I are ... we're friends. Not good friends, not ... we're just ... friends. Something I used to call 'surface' friends. Yeah, that's what we are. And Sam and me? Less than that. Not that she doesn't care – I mean, we're talking Sam here, you know? But I'm not in the immediate circle that surrounds her. I was – before I jumped through that glass on Kelowna."

Janet was, at that moment, very glad that whatever was allowing her to be here was also allowing her to touch. She reached out and put her hand on his arm and squeezed gently. "Why *did* you choose to go with Oma?"

He seemed to gather himself together, to come back from wherever he'd been. He smiled gently and said, "Why not? There was nothing here for me, I wasn't accomplishing anything, helping anyone. I wasn't really using my skills and neither was the SGC." He gave a helpless shrug. "It just seemed the answer."

"Jacob was healing you, Daniel."

He turned a bit, more towards her, and said, "Yes, yes, he was. But to what extent? You heard him. And I knew. I would have been someone – no – some*thing* -- that was better left alone in a very dark room—"

"You can't know that, Daniel."

His eyes widened. "Can't I?"

She frowned. "Daniel?"

He gave her another small shrug before saying, "I knew, okay? And so did Jack. That's why he let me go. Well, that's one of the reasons. I'm sure he wouldn't have stopped me even if Jacob could have healed me one hundred percent. No reason for him to try." His gaze went thoughtful again, only this time, with a bit of hurt lurking in the depths of his blue eyes. "I've always had the feeling that he was actually – relieved – a little. Maybe."

"You're wrong about that, Daniel. You have no idea what he was like that entire year. I thought – more than once – that he'd retire. He had no joy; there was no excitement for him anymore. He seemed to age five years. He missed you, Daniel. Terribly."

Daniel favored her with a wry smile. "I doubt that, Jan."

When she started to protest, he held up his hand. "Okay, that was unfair to Jack. He's a caring man and I was a member of his team and yes, at one time – a good friend. But I still think there was some relief. No annoying lectures, no more arguments and no more fighting over orders and philosophical differences that, to him, must have seemed, at times, to be insurmountable. So yeah, some relief but no guilt because technically, I wasn't – you know -- dead." He nodded more to himself than her as he added, "I made the right decision. Not the best one, not the easy one, but for me, the right one."

"Not the easy one?" she asked, perplexed.

His expression softened and he got that faraway look in his eyes again as he said, "You see, I had three choices, Janet. Three. I could let Jacob heal me to the extent that he could – which wasn't really a choice," he shivered suddenly, "or I could go with Oma and maybe, just maybe, help. Really help. Or...."

His voice trailed off and Janet had the urge to poke him, prod him into finishing, but she wisely refrained. And a moment later, was very glad.

"Or... I could let go. Die. As in really die. Cross the river Styx and into Sha're's arms." His voice dropped low as he added softly, "It would have been so easy... so very easy."

But of course, Janet thought, Daniel could never take the easy way.

In that moment, she knew more about the man sitting next to her than she'd learned in all the years she'd known him. She couldn't imagine the kind of strength it must have taken to choose Oma over peace and eternity with Sha're. On the other hand, with Oma, he could still watch out for them – for Jack.

"Do you regret that choice?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Sometimes," he said, his answer not in the least satisfactory.

"Come on, give me more than that," she coaxed.

"There were times, in the first months after my return, when I'd see the dismissal and residual anger -- in Sam – and wish I'd chosen death. And, of course, every time I think of Abydos, or what Jack went through with Baal, or what Teal'c—"

"Daniel—"

"No, no, there's nothing you can say to this, Jan. I understood the limitations, understood what I could and could not do once I ascended. And the rules were – are – good ones. Valid. We're – they're – not gods."

Funny how a mere slip of the tongue could bring total clarity. Suddenly Janet could see everything she chose to see. The heavens opened up to her and revealed their secrets.

Revealed Daniel's secrets.

"But you got around them, didn't you?" she asked, her voice soft and barely there. He smiled, more to himself than her, and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I did. I used to drive Oma crazy. There were fine lines to be crossed, and then, then there were fine lines to be crossed and I found every one of those I could – and crossed them. But no one could really do anything, you know? Because *I* didn't actually use my abilities outright."

"No, of course not," she said in that same voice. "You just planted ideas where needed and gave Teal'c another life to keep him going. And you kept both of them company when they so desperately needed company."

He nodded again, his gaze once again wandering to distant places. "But then – Anubis. I crossed hard, bold lines then, and look what happened. Oma was right and my actions—"

"Saved us all," she finished for him. "What would have happened if you *hadn't* gone to Jack? If you hadn't told him about Anubis?"

He looked at her then, his head canted to the right in puzzlement. "What?"

"You heard me. If you hadn't told Jack, what would have been the probable outcome?"

"I... I don't know. I suppose the Tok'ra would have found out and told—"

"No. No, Daniel. Anubis would have found the Eye, destroyed Abydos completely, and then us."

She knew how certain she sounded and watched as his eyes grew round. She nodded.

"You... you don't—"

She nodded again. "Yes, Daniel. I do. I'm not sure how, but yes. And it would have destroyed you, by the way. Completely destroyed you. There was no way you could sit back and let anything like that happen, nor was there any reason for you to. The fight isn't ours alone and I think the Ancients are learning that – finally. After all, Oma did take Anubis out, didn't she?"

"Ye-es."

"This is actually kind of ... strange. Suddenly I know a great deal more than I did a few minutes ago. I must be getting the hang of ... this."

He didn't say anything, just stared at her, eyes bright and knowing. But she found herself wiggling uncomfortably as she said, "What?"

Daniel looked as though he were going to say something, but then waved his hand dismissively and said, "Nothing. But out of curiosity, just what do you suddenly know?"

"I... know everything," she said in wonder. "I know you ... chose to descend, you weren't kicked out – I know that...."

Suddenly she clamped a hand over her mouth in horror, her eyes growing wide with the shock of the knowledge she was seeing. Finally she mumbled, "Oh, my god, you ... Sam... you died again. You *died* again. Horribly. She ... her hand became... and she... and you died so alone and there was no Oma and you died believing that you'd failed all of us." Tears spilled down her cheeks. "You died so alone."

"Janet, it's okay."

He reached for her and she found herself drawn into his arms. Which was very odd since he was the one who should be receiving comfort. She could feel his hand smoothing down her hair as he held her and it seemed... right.

***

"I feel silly now," she said as Daniel handed her a Kleenex. She blew, wiped, and when she looked around for somewhere to put it, he held out his hand. She grimaced and he took it from her with a grin. She watched him get up and dump it in the small waste basket next to what obviously served as his work area. He walked back and retook his seat and she smiled almost shyly at him.

"You okay now?" he asked gently.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine."

"Then," she inched closer, "maybe now you'll tell me why you wanted to come back?"

She was grateful that he didn't even bother to deny it. He ran a hand through his short hair and finally said, "Hey, it wasn't all that surprising if you think about it. It was becoming more and more impossible for me to accept the battle Oma was forced to wage. No, I said that wrong. I hated the fact that she had to fight such a battle with the others. And of course, there was also the fact that I was pretty much doomed to fail. I'm afraid I'm not cut out to be a ... glowy ... being." He smiled wryly. He then reached over and ran the back of his hand over her cheek. "You, on the other hand, are."

She reared back. Not away from his touch, but his words. "Are you saying that ... is that what's happening to me?"

"Who knows?" he said mysteriously, before smiling and adding, "Heck, maybe you're... an angel."

Okay, now that was funny. She grinned. "Daniel, sometimes... I mean, surely after all that you've seen – how you can think angels exist?"

"Don't you?"

That sobered her. Because – she did. Believe in angels. And God.

"Janet—"

"No, no, just wait a moment. Let me ... digest this."

He sat back, relaxed, obviously prepared to wait. She had to admire his patience. And his acceptance. But wasn't that Daniel all over?

***

"Okay, so glowy being, angel or ghost, we're still stuck with why I'm here."

"I thought we'd agreed it was for Sam?"

"No, you agreed. Remember, I said I thought I might be here for you."

"And we've established that there's no reason for you to be here for me. That I'm fine. I have no decisions to make, Jan. Been there, made them. But two people who love each other are in trouble."

She could only shake her head at the very smart – very dumb – man next to her. At least now she knew what to do – and that meant a visit to Sam's – just not for Daniel's reason.

She stood up. "All right, I'm going to pay Sam a little visit right now. But if angels could bet, they'd be betting you that I'll be back."

He laughed and said, "Whatever, Jan. Just... help them. They're wasting precious moments – moments they could be spending together."

She shook her head helplessly, gave him a slight salute, and ... left.

***

She'd been serious when she'd told Daniel that Sam had looked content, but now she needed to see her friend through different eyes. So, here she was.

Sam's house.

It was still early and Sam was exactly where Janet figured to find her. In her den. She was stretched out on the couch, the remains of her dinner – a salad – on the table next to her. She had papers strewn over the floor, her lap, and the table. The television was on and she was watching "For Whom the Bell Tolls."

Janet remained in the doorway as she tried to ponder how to do this – and what *this* was. She tapped her foot restlessly. Okay, maybe Sam wasn't the place to start. Maybe the Col—General—was who she needed to see.

But she was here, and Sam was her best friend. Janet moved into the room, took a seat next to Sam and starting talking.

"Sam, I know you can't see me, but I'm not altogether certain that on some level, you can't hear me. So, with that in mind, we need to let our hair down and talk straight. You aren't in love with General O'Neill. You know it, I know it and General O'Neill probably knows it – should he stop to think about it.

"You two could never in a million years be happy. He'd drive you crazy in two minutes flat and while I'm pretty sure the sex would be terrific, it wouldn't be enough for you and you know it. He's a sexy man, but that's not enough either. And we both know he's smart – courageous too. But you two could never find anything but work to converse about. You have nothing in common *but* your careers and the Stargate. I have no doubt his habits would be more than you could handle. You hate fishing and you despise camping when it's not attached to exploring the galaxy. You'd rather go biking – or spend hours fixing up a bike, and he'd rather see a hockey game. He'll call you 'Carter' in bed."

She took a deep breath, scooted closer, and went on.

"Your relationship is defined by the Stargate program – in every way, Sam. You're his subordinate and that will never change and if don't believe me, examine the times you've been with him off-duty. The backyard barbecues, the dinners at O'Malley's and the holiday get-togethers. How does he treat you? Does he call you Sam? Choose to sit with you? Rush to get you more food? Does he hurry to serve you first? Or remember your birthday without prompting from Daniel? Does he know your favorite foods the way he knows, say, Daniel's? What kind of gifts do you get from him? Are they personal? No. Do you even get a separate gift? No. He goes in on something ... with Daniel." She peered closely at her friend and noticed that she wasn't really looking at the set. Her gaze seemed to be fixed on a spot beyond the room. She was still, her expression one of deep concentration.

She was hearing Janet. Somehow, someway, she was listening.

Janet was about to go on, when suddenly Sam jumped to her feet. Before Janet could even blink, Sam had her jacket on, purse slung over her shoulder, and was heading for the front door. She supposed she ought to follow.

***

Jack was bored out of his skull. The only sports on was ping-pong; China against France. No, thank you. He wondered what Daniel was doing. Maybe he should call him, see if he'd like to meet him for a drink and a game of pool. He smiled. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket. Pool, beer and good company. He got up and started for the phone, but his doorbell rang. He veered left and went to answer it. Maybe it was an equally bored Daniel.

"Carter?"

Or not.

"Sir. May I... may I come in?"

He stepped aside and she walk passed him and into the living room.

Boy, talk about your déjà vu.

He had a feeling he was about to become very ... uncomfortable.

She stood in the middle of the room, making no move toward the couch or chair. Puzzled, he stopped on the bottom step. Finally she turned to face him.

"Sir, I ... can we talk?"

He almost fell off the bottom step. "Uhm... suu-re. About?"

He watched as she took a deep breath and he thought again how this was going to be bad. Very bad.

"Sir... there is no... us, is there?"

Huh?

"Huh? Us?" he asked, knowing damn well he was grimacing.

She let her index finger do a little jig between them. "Yes, sir, us. As in ... you and me. As in ... a couple. As in a," she sighed, "relationship."

He figured suddenly sitting down on the floor would probably not be a good thing. Never show weakness. No, sir.

Damn, he'd done so well in avoiding this exact conversation, and now, here she was, and there was no 'other woman' to walk in and end it, no sudden arrival of Daniel or Teal'c, let alone Hammond, to forestall it. No imminent invasion by the Goa'uld to save his sorry butt.

Which left him with ... the truth.

"Carter—"

"Just say yes or no, sir."

He took a tentative step into his living room. "Carter, what answer are you... you know... expecting?"

He knew he was damn close to whining – and that had to be a very unattractive trait in a man his age. Not that he was worried about looking attractive to Carter, because he wasn't, but damn it, he was a general, after all.

"I... think the answer is... no, there is no us. Am I right?"

He stared at her a moment, really looked at the leader of what was now his flagship team, and sensed a need from her, some kind of validation. Trouble was, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to validate. Best to fall back on the truth.

"Yeah, Carter, you're right. But there is a deep friendship, mixed in with a whole lot of respect."

She nodded at that and he was pretty sure he spotted relief in her eyes. Then she grinned.

"You'd probably drive me crazy if there were an us and we acted on it."

He gave her a small grin in return. "No doubt. Not very many people can put up with me, Carter."

"That's probably true," she said before quickly adding, "sir."

"So... you want something to drink ... or something?"

She shook her head. "No, sir, but thank you. I'm going to," she moved from her left foot onto her right and jerked her thumb vaguely westward, "head home. Just needed to – you know – get a few things straightened out."

He nodded vigorously. "Right, right. Okay. Well, I'll see you on Monday, then."

"Yes, sir. Absolutely. Good night, General."

He moved to his right as she walked passed him and then followed her to the door. "Good night, Carter."

She paused on his porch, turned, and smiled again. "Thank you, sir. Really. Thank you."

"Uhm, my pleasure?"

She laughed, a free, bright laugh, like the Carter she used to be. "Right. See you Monday."

And with a wave, she was gone.

He slowly closed the door.

***

Okay, that had been amazing. Janet watched Jack walk back to his chair and almost fall into it. She supposed she should go now. And yet... she felt as though her work wasn't quite finished yet.

Because of course – she was here for Daniel, not Sam.

She grinned and walked over to the couch. Jack was going to be a lot tougher nut to crack than Sam. She sat down, brought her legs up and crossed them. She might as well get comfortable. This could take a while.

"So, here we are," she finally said. "Just you and me, Col—General, and may I say that you handled Sam pretty damn well? Of course I may." She grinned in spite of herself. This was kind of fun. She could actually say anything – which considering all the torment Jack had heaped on her shoulders over the years – well, he deserved whatever she chose to dish up now.

But that wasn't why she was here. Darn it. Which meant settling in and doing her best to get through to the man. But how? Subtle? Straight from the hip?

Jack was definitely not the subtle type and subtle tended to fly right under his radar. So then – straight from the hip.

"Jack, and I feel I can call you that now. Jack, we need to talk about Daniel. Actually, Daniel and you. He's in love with you but thinks I'm here to put you and Sam together. But as you just proved, that was a 'never gonna happen'. Not that you haven't flirted with the idea, and I refuse to go into the psychological reasons behind why you and Sam have been dancing the 'two Air Force officers who can't be a couple because one is subordinate to the other and they don't love each other anyway' dance.

"So -- bottom line? You're in love with Daniel and scared out of your skull. Well, I'm here to tell you it's time to step up to the plate and accept the fact that you two were meant to be together. And if you need any proof, try this: the guy keeps coming back. Now why do you suppose that is? Maybe he just really loves his office at the SGC or wearing baggy fatigues? No, I don't think so either. So what's your answer?"

Janet canted her head as she waited, and was quickly rewarded when Jack got the same distant look in his eyes that Sam had earlier. She rubbed her hands together almost gleefully and went on.

"I think you know the reason, Jack. So why don't you get off that cute, almost-fifty-year- old butt and go see him. Tell him the truth and make like the happy couple you both deserve to be, okay?"

She waited, and found herself growing more and more restless when Jack made no move to leave. Damn, he was stubborn. She leaned in to study him and found the distant look still there. Maybe he was thinking. After all, everyone knew it took Jack longer to "think" than the average genius. Chuckling, she sat back and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"Oh, fer crying out loud," she finally said impatiently. "What's it going to take, Jack? What, do you need lightning to strike or something? Or maybe you need him to die again. Well, I've got news for you. He did. Horribly. And alone, and believing that he'd failed you and that he'd never see you or his friends again. And I'll add one more thing: he died believing that wouldn't be such a bad thing for you. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that he had the choice to ascend again, or to remain dead and in case you need a little hint: he didn't choose ascension. Luckily for you, the Others – well, that doesn't matter now, what does is that even they knew because they sent him back -- to YOUR office, and without a stitch of clothing on. Do you suppose they were trying to tell you something, Jack? Huh?"

Suddenly Jack was moving; standing up.

This was good.

Maybe she'd finally made it through to him.

When he headed for the closet and his jacket, she got up too.

This was very good.

She watched him grab his keys and head out the front door, and somehow she knew he was going to Daniel's. Of course, he'd probably need help so maybe she should head over there herself?

"That won't be necessary, Doctor Frasier."

She whirled around and found herself facing ....

"Skaara?"

He smiled and nodded. "All will be well for my good brother now. Thank you."

"I... how...."

His grin widened. "I remember Dan-yel explaining angels to my sister and me as he tried to tell us of all the beliefs of his world. I thought if anyone should be such a thing, it was my good brother. I still believe this."

Something twinkled in his eyes and Janet blinked in surprise. He stepped close to her and said, "Angels can have many names, Doctor Frasier. My good brother called you a true angel of mercy once. He was not wrong. He knew what you were becoming, but was uncertain if you were ready to hear the truth. But perhaps now?"

"The truth?" But she understood. Words came to her, words she couldn't possibly have heard....

//"Rule Number One! No lone ascended being shall help a lower ascend. "Lowers"; are what we call humans and such. If you deserve to be here, you should be able to get here on your own."//

She was definitely no ghost.

Skaara tilted his head and held out a hand. With a shy smile, she took it.

***

Daniel stood at the sliding doors to his backyard. His eyes drifted shut and a slow smile spread across his face. "Love you, Janet," he said softly. He could feel her ascension and prayed she'd been able to get through to Sam and Jack. He wanted happiness for his friends more than anything else.

The doorbell interrupted his thoughts and, wondering who it could be, he hurried across the living room to the foyer. He opened the door and his mouth fell open.

"Daniel."

"Jack?"

"Probably."

Daniel felt his eyebrow rising. "Probably?"

"Right now, I'm none too sure. Can I come in or should I just fall through the Earth to China?"

Daniel blinked at him several times before stepping back and letting him in. He closed the door and tried to figure this out.

Okay, maybe Jack was here to talk about Sam. To ... tell him how he felt about her. Oh, God, please, not that. He wanted their happiness, but damn, he sure as hell didn't want to hear about it in glowing terms from Jack.

And yet, that's what friends did, and he was most definitely Jack's friend.

"What do you have in the way of alcohol, Daniel? And I don't mean beer or wine. I need something stronger. Much stronger."

Jack started walking toward the kitchen and Daniel had no choice but to follow. "I... uhm, I have some brandy and there's a bottle of Crown Royal."

That stopped Jack. "You have a bottle of Crown Royal?"

"Uhm, it's Lou's, actually. Remember three years ago—"

"My God, you still have that bottle?"

"You packed it up, remember? I just found it in one of the boxes from storage."

Jack gave a little shake of his head and started for the kitchen again. Once there, Daniel said, "Pantry," and Jack nodded. He got the bottle, a glass, and after a "harrumph," took down a second glass.

"How 'bout the backyard patio?" Jack asked as he held up the bottle.

Daniel nodded, thinking he'd need that whiskey if he was going to have to listen to Jack wax poetic about Sam.

Jack opened the slider and stepped out, Daniel on his heels. They both sat down at the redwood table and Jack poured for each of them. He raised his glass, said, "Cheers," and drank quickly.

Daniel shrugged and followed suit. As the liquid went down, he could remember a time when he would have been gasping at the heat and taste, but no longer. Now it was a good friend. A much needed friend. When Jack picked up the bottle to pour again, Daniel had his glass ready.

This time when both glasses were full and Jack raised his, he said, "To liquid courage."

Daniel blinked rapidly as Jack downed his in one and poured yet another. After drinking that one, he licked his lips, looked at Daniel's still-full glass and said, "You're falling behind, Danny-boy. Drink up."

Instead, Daniel put his glass down. With a sinking feeling, he said, "You haven't talked to her yet, have you?"

Jack was just downing his fourth drink and almost choked on it. He managed to swallow and immediately lifted the bottle to pour again. Aware that Daniel was now staring at him, he paused and cocked his head. "What?"

"You heard me. You're here, drinking, in order to get the courage to see Sam and tell her how you feel," Daniel said, shock clearly evident in his voice. "I don't believe you, Jack. For God's sake, this is your future we're talking about. Your happiness and Sam's." He angrily reached for the bottle and took it from Jack's hand. "You don't fucking need courage to follow your fucking heart. Just go to her, tell her, and live happily fucking ever after, okay?"

Jack's expression was priceless. Even angry, Daniel could appreciate it. He looked like a stunned twelve year old. Suddenly Jack grabbed the liquor back and ... and ....

"Jack?"

Jack tilted his head back and drank right out of the bottle.

"Okay, maybe you do need the courage," Daniel said.

Smacking his lips, Jack nodded. "Oh, yeah. Because it isn't Carter I'm in love with, you jackass. If it were, we'd be a done deal by now, regulations or no regulations. But what I risk by being in love with the idiot I'm in love with – well, that's completely different."

Daniel swiped a hand over his face and felt like maybe he was underwater. He sighed, shook his head as if trying to dislodge water in his ear, and asked, "You're in love with an idiot?"

"I am."

"And it's not Sam."

"It's not."

"An idiot."

"What would you call someone who continually dies on you?"

Daniel frowned. "What?"

Jack, definitely feeling the whiskey, put his elbows on the table and whispered, "What would you call someone who kept dying on you, huh?"

Daniel reared back and, stumbling over his words, said, "I... dying... and who... dying on you?"

"That's what I said, Danny. Dying on me. YOU keep dying on me. Do have any idea what that does to me? And we're not even having sex. I barely handle it now so I can only imagine what it would be like if we were, you know, intimate. So yeah, I need courage. Lots and lots and lots of courage, Doctor Jackson."

Daniel got up, turned his back on Jack and walked out onto the lawn. He was angry and he knew he needed to be careful. Very careful. But he was angry. Really angry. He whirled back around.

"I'm extremely angry right now, Jack, so you'd better leave."

"Excuse me?"

"Anger. You. Leave. Now."

Jack jumped up, which was quite an accomplishment considering his knees and the alcohol consumption. He moved to stand in front of Daniel. "I am NOT leaving. We need to talk about this and YOU need to promise not to die anymore so that we can finally have sex."

Even as his anger leaked out, Daniel was thinking that this had to be the weirdest conversation he and Jack had ever had. And they'd experienced some real winners in the past. On the other hand, apparently Jack wanted to have sex with him and that was a major improvement over wanting to have sex with Sam. In fact, Daniel could really get behind the sentiment. But he had a few questions first.

Jack wagged a drunken finger in Daniel's face. "Oh, no, you don't, Daniel. I know that look. You want to dissect this, don't you?"

Daniel tried to look insulted, but he was moving toward euphoric so it was a bit difficult. Finally he just said a weak, "Me?"

"Yes, you," Jack said as he poked Daniel in the chest. "You probably want to talk about this until we're both blue in the face."

Daniel grinned. "Not blue in the ... face, Jack."

Jack swayed a bit and then closed one eye as he said, "You know, if you'd stop moving, I'd do something about that smart mouth of yours."

Daniel held his arms away from his side and said softly, "I'm not moving, Jack. Not going anywhere – ever again. I'm here to stay. Non-moving, smart-mouth waiting."

Jack opened the closed eye and closed the open eye. "Okay, I amend my earlier statement. You're not moving. But you still have a smart mouth."

"And you'd like to do what with it?"

Jack swayed again, but this time, his movement was forward. Daniel stayed still until Jack's lips were firmly planted against his own. Then he wrapped his arms around Jack and held on tight. More to keep Jack from falling on his ass than anything else.

When Jack was done, he pulled away and said, "My lips are numb. Damn it, my lips are numb."

Daniel patted his cheek and said, "I know, Jack. I know. This probably won't go down as the best first time in history—"

"Daniel," Jack said worriedly, "everything is numb."

"I know. Let's get you to bed."

He led Jack back into the house and into his bedroom. "Now just sit down right here and I'll get you undressed."

Jack looked at the bed and shivered. "Nuh-huh. That is *not* a bed. That's a hobbit couch."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Jack, I'm six feet – it's a bed and it's just fine."

"For a ::hiccough:: hobbit."

"I'm not a hobbit, in case you missed that."

Jack looked blearily at him and grinned. "No, you're not. Leggy. You're Leggy." He patted Daniel's cheek. "So pretty, my Leggy. I'll be Aragorn, okay?"

Shaking his head sadly, Daniel said, "I think our first time is going to have to wait a bit."

***

It took Daniel almost thirty minutes to get a drunken Jack undressed and under the covers. Thirty minutes of evading horny hands (not that he really tried to evade them), soused lips and a tongue bent on finding a home in Daniel's ear. By the time he got Jack down, he was laughing so hard he could barely stay on his feet. But finally Jack seemed to have settled in, his eyes at half-mast. Daniel took a moment to catch his breath and then looked down at his friend. He scratched his chin as he tried to figure out if there was room for him. Then another thought struck him – Jack was drunk and maybe in the morning... maybe he'd ... regret....

"Get it in here, Daniel. We'll talk in the morning – and don't worry – I'll remember, and I won't have any regrets. Well, other than the fact that I'm in no shape for sex. That I'll regret. Big time." He hiccoughed again and grinned.

Daniel was undressed in two seconds flat. Another second had him under the covers and Jack draped over his body.

Okay, this was ...nice. Not as expected or dreamed about, but given their history – par for the course. Jack's eyes were closed, but he was clumsily petting Daniel's arm. Typical Jack.

Daniel just relaxed into the moment and eventually the petting stopped and Jack's breathing evened out, signifying that he was asleep. A few minutes later, Daniel joined him.

***

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is?" Jack asked from his perch on the end of Daniel's bed.

Daniel just smiled.

"Daniel?"

Settling back against the pillows, hands behind his head, Daniel said, "If I could, Jack, I'd make this the talk of the SGC. And I'd do it by simply telling Lou."

"You know, Jackson, you really have a mean streak. All that saintly crap is a huge cover for the real you."

"Be thankful I can't tell Lou, because I can hear it now. 'Did you guys hear about how the General and Doctor J finally got together? It's a real hoot. Well, actually, they haven't gotten together yet because the General got snockered. But hey, at least they slept together. As in slept.'"

"Okay, you're the devil. I get it now," Jack muttered. He moaned and put his head in his hands.

Daniel decided to take pity on the hung-over man. He climbed out of bed, walked around to Jack, patted him gently on the head, and said, "I'm going to get you some coffee. In the meantime, you'd probably feel better after a nice shower. By the time you're out, the nectar of the gods will be ready."

Jack looked up just as Daniel walked out the door.

Naked.

Daniel was naked.

Jack moaned and dropped his head back into his hands.

***

Daniel set the coffee-maker going and walked back to his room. He could hear the shower going and he smiled. Time to get this relationship going. He opened the bathroom door, shut it, and stood a moment, just watching Jack's form through the shower curtain. This was it. For better or worse – they were about to change their relationship forever.

And he fully intended it to be forever.

Daniel pulled the curtain aside and quickly stepped into the tub behind Jack. Who immediately turned around. Daniel lifted his arm and wiggled his fingers. "Hi."

Jack simply stared at him. After a moment, lips twitching upward, he said, "Where's my coffee?"

"Perking." Daniel looked down. "Kinda like ... us."

Jack followed Daniel's gaze and his smile blossomed. "Maybe I should do something about that?"

Daniel shook his head and slowly – and carefully – went to his knees. He slid his hands up Jack's legs until they rested on Jack's hips. He glanced up and smiled. The water was warm, with just enough of it cascading off Jack to warm Daniel. He could feel the tremors pass through Jack as he looked down at him, brown eyes almost black with passion. He was about to start paying a great deal of attention to Jack's very interested cock when Jack murmured, "I should be the one—"

"I have better knees," Daniel said softly. "Besides, at the moment, I'm living one of my favorite fantasies."

Jack's scarred eyebrow rose crookedly. "You've actually—"

"Sure, haven't—"

"Not in the shower. Mine ran more towards covert—"

He got no further as Daniel took the head of his cock into his mouth. Jack shuddered and had to quickly choose between bracing himself with one hand against the wall, or both hands on Daniel. He finally went with Daniel. One hand gripping the younger man's shoulder, the other in his hair, fingers stroking in counterpoint to Daniel's work on his dick.

Bliss – hot and fiery bliss.

***

They sat together, Daniel against Jack's chest, the water, still warm, showering them lightly. Jack was resting his head back against the tile, eyes closed as he slowly rubbed small circles over Daniel's abdomen. Daniel had his head resting on Jack's shoulder. His eyes were also closed as he traced one of the scars on Jack's knee.

"Nice," Jack noted without opening his eyes.

"Very."

"I'm damn glad I listened to my inner voice last night and came over here."

Daniel snorted and said, "A voice that sounded suspiciously like Janet's."

Jack lifted his head and opened his eyes. "What?"

"You think you suddenly, out of the clear blue, found the courage to come over here and get drunk while trying to tell me—"

"Ye-ah," Jack responded somewhat indignantly.

"No-o," Daniel quipped. "Try again."

"Daniel?"

"Ja-ack?"

"Damn it, just say it, Daniel."

"Are you ready to hear it?"

Jack thunked Daniel in the side of the head. "I don't even know what it is, Daniel."

"Ow," Daniel said as he rubbed his head. "And it -- is Janet -- who was kind of here and we had dinner and she wasn't sure why I could see her when no one else had – see, she saw Cassie first and then went to the and then came here. I was fixing a frittata and I turned around and there she was. And believe me, she was very surprised that I could see her, as you can imagine. Anyway, we kind of agreed that she had to be here, meaning – you know – here," he waved his hands expressively to simulate the world, "as opposed to here," he pointed downward, "for a reason and I suggested that she was here, meaning, you know—"

Jack shook his head mildly and said, "Here."

"Right. Anyway, I suggested that she was here for you and Sam, to get you two together—"

"WHAT?!" Jack shot up, seriously dislodging Daniel from his comfortable position.

Pushing Jack back down, Daniel re-situated himself, draped Jack's arm across his chest, and said, "It was a reasonable assumption, Jack. You two have been mooning over each other for years. Of course, how was I to know that you were really mooning over me? I mean, sure, Sam and I were often standing together, or sitting next to each other, so when you'd send those moonie looks our way, I just naturally assumed they were directed at Sam. And I know Sam—"

"Carter is not in love with me and I never sent," he made quote marks in the air, 'moonie' looks her way or your way, or any way. Colonels and generals don't do moonie."

Daniel barked out a laugh and then patted Jack's thigh. "Sure, Jack. Whatever you say, Jack."

"God, I hate it when you do that."

"Pat your naked thigh?"

"Very funny."

"Just think, I can pat your naked thigh whenever I want to, thanks to Janet."

"Yeah, could you go on about the whole Janet thing?"

"I told you—"

"Yeah, and your explanation left a lot to be desired, Daniel. Am I supposed to believe—"

"Sam showed up at your place before you showed up here, right?"

"..."

"Yep, that's what I thought. And you think you and Sam did all this soul searching at the same time, on your own?"

Jack's expression said that maybe Daniel was starting to make some sense. Maybe.

"Ok-ay... so you had dinner with Janet. And how did you two go from fixing me and Carter up, to fixing you and me up?"

"Janet went there all by herself. Like I said, I was convinced she was here to get you and Sam—"

"Could we not go there again?" Jack gave a mock shiver before adding, "So...what... Janet's some kind of a ... I give up. What is she?"

Daniel smiled at that and, after turning his head enough to see Jack, said, "Do you really want to hear?"

Resigned, Jack said, "She's something weird, isn't she?"

"No, Jack, she isn't 'something weird'. She's ... well, by now, she's ... ascended. By herself. Although I'm sure someone was sent to sort of... greet her. Sort of."

"Okay, up we go. Enough of this talk in a tub. My butt is cold and sore and I need comfort and coffee – and pancakes wouldn't hurt either -- if I'm going to hear the rest of this."

With Jack pushing, Daniel rose to his feet and then gave Jack a hand up. They stepped out and quickly dried off. Then while Jack dressed, Daniel brushed his teeth and shaved. They then traded places, Daniel receiving a swat on his butt as he walked past Jack. Just before the bathroom door closed in his face, Daniel said, "You're going to do that a lot in the next thirty or so years, aren't you?"

Just as he turned to walk to his closet, Jack's voice floated back to him. "Yeahsure, youbetcha."

Laughing, Daniel started to dress.  
Part 4 - the conclusion

"Okay, I have my coffee, I'm dressed, warm, comfortable, and I have a plate of French toast – almost as good as pancakes – in front of me, so now you can explain. Not that I'll understand, but it's good for me to hear stuff like this. Keeps me young."

"Or something," Daniel said dryly. "And my French toast is a hundred times better than pancakes any day of the week. Especially with apricot syrup." To punctuate his words, he speared a piece and made sure it was dripping with the syrup before putting it in his mouth.

Daniel chewed dreamily and Jack could only watch, mouth open. Finally, after adjusting himself, he said, "You're a hazard, Daniel. You shouldn't be allowed out alone."

One eyebrow quirked up. "Oh?"

"The way you... you know... eat."

"I eat like everyone else. I chew thoroughly, take small bites, keep my mouth closed, what's wrong with that?"

Jack waved his fork in the air and said, "Never mind. Just... get to Janet."

"Oh, right. Anyway, you see, one of the reasons Oma was always in trouble was that she went against the rules regarding ascension. The Others felt that if one is worthy, they should be able to ascend by themselves. Oma thought that was—"

"Ridiculous? I mean, if one doesn't know about ascension, how can one ... ascend?"

"Exactly."

"And yet, you said earlier that Janet ascended herself. So Oma was wrong and the Others – right?"

"No, not at all. Janet witnessed an ascension, thus knows all about it. But you see, there can be very strong earthly ties that can keep a person in a kind of limbo, and that's what happened to Janet – sort of. Kind of."

"You're telling me she's been in this ... limbo ... for almost a year?"

Daniel put his fork down and gazed thoughtfully at Jack before saying, "Do you really want me to go into it?"

Jack rubbed behind his ear and finally said, "Probably not. And I'm not going to ask how you even know what the famous it is. Okay, so before ascending, Janet just kind of kicked our collective butts after having a nice dinner with you?"

Chewing, Daniel kind of "Mmm'ed" and waved his fork in a "you nailed it" kind of way.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Daniel grinned.

Jack watched as Daniel dug back into his breakfast and it struck him that he'd never seen Daniel this happy, relaxed or ... whimsical. Every ounce of the normal tension that followed Daniel around like a black cloud was gone. His eyes were clear, his face smoothed of the usual "worried" wrinkles. As Daniel put another forkful of French toast into his mouth, Jack also realized that he was probably witnessing a Daniel that only Sha're had ever been privy to. He continued to covertly observe, and as another relaxed, dreamy smile graced Daniel's face, Jack thought that maybe even Sha're hadn't seen this Daniel.

***

Daniel's couch was very roomy and comfortable – especially with Daniel in his arms. It had been a long time since he'd had such a casual, loving moment with a man. His college days, to be exact. Although this moment beat all others by a galactic mile.

The scent of their breakfast was still in the air, and now mixed deliciously with Daniel's aftershave and Daniel. A baseball game was on and provided the perfect background noise to go along with the late summer sun streaming in through the patio doors.

Jack was pretty damn sure he'd never been this happy.

He bent his head just enough to drop a kiss on top of messed up hair and felt Daniel's fingers tighten around his own in response. Resting his cheek against Daniel's head, he said, "We've always depended on Janet to put us back together after missions gone bad, but who knew she'd be the one to—"

"Put us together?"

Smiling, Jack said, "Yep."

"We owe her big time."

"And no way to thank her," Jack said sorrowfully.

"Tell me you're joking?"

Jack lifted his head. "Not. And why would I—"

"Jack, ex-glowy person here."

"So you're saying we just—"

"That's what I'm saying."

Daniel had moved forward in order to turn and face Jack, and now, at his words, Jack took him by the shoulders, turned him back around, settled him in his arms again, and said, "So ex-glowy person, you think if I just say 'thank you', Janet will hear?"

"What, you think she'd go to all this trouble and then just... leave?"

"Nah, she's a woman. She'd have to hang around to catch the ending, see the effects of her handiwork."

"Now you're talking."

Arms around Daniel, head resting comfortably against the cushion, and eyes on the game, which was going into extra innings, Jack whispered, "Thank you, Janet. Thank you."

"Amen," Daniel murmured.

A sudden breeze wafted in through the open doors, bringing with it the scent of ... Pikaki.

Janet's scent.

Both men smiled.

The peace lasted as long as it took for Jack's brain to catch up with the day.

"Uhm... Daniel?"

Eyes on the tv screen (bases were loaded), Daniel said, "Mmm?"

"I know I don't really want to ask – but how do you know Janet ascended?"

When Daniel didn't answer him, he gave him a little jiggle and said, "Daniel?"

"I'm not sure you want to know, Jack. But I'm also pretty sure that if you put it all together – you'll come up with the answer."

Jack was now officially worried. Daniel's voice had been too soft, too... tentative.

"You could see her in that ... limbo of hers. None of us could."

"Uh-huh."

"You were on the replicator ship when it was destroyed."

"Actually – I was already dead when the wave hit the ship. She'd already killed me."

Jack closed his eyes. He wasn't going to like this. Before he went on, he asked, "You are real, right?"

"I am."

Thank God. And he definitely heard the smile in Daniel's voice. "Okay, so you were dead. Oma interfered again and scarfed you up."

"Scarfed? I'm not a food product, Jack."

"Oh, I don't know. I did a pretty good job of eating—"

"I ate first, and no, she didn't 'scarf' me up, she ...brought me up."

"Semantics. So, Oma brought you up because she knew, along with the rest of the ENTIRE galaxy, that you'd never think yourself worthy enough to ascend on your own, but something happened. And if I recall your report correctly – Oma went into some kind of eternal battle with Anubis, right?"

"Uh-huh."

For some reason he couldn't fathom, Jack tightened his hold on Daniel. "But?"

"The Others ... finally ended it for her. Anubis was destroyed and Oma is once again—"

"Doing her glowy thing?"

"More or less, yeah."

"And why did the Others finally help her?"

Daniel shrugged as he gazed down at the tan arms encircling his chest.

"Could it be that she had a ... champion? Who spoke eloquently on her behalf?"

Another shrug.

"But of course, that still leaves ... you. In your oh-so-eloquent report, you simply stated that the Others sent you back – 'eager to be rid of me' I believe were your exact words."

"Uhm, yeah."

"Uhm, no. Since you have so much faith in my ability to figure this out, I'm going to make sure I don't disappoint you. So, with that in mind, well, I'd have to say that – they were all ready to make you one of the family again, but that wasn't what you wanted. You had the choice, didn't you?"

"Uh-huh."

Jack knew he was getting close. Something was gripping his chest, squeezing his heart. He thought briefly of going no further, but his life with Daniel was too important. It was everything, which meant he needed to get to the bottom of this.

"But when Oma took you, you weren't dying – you were already dead. No choice, no thought, no agreement. So that means that once all the mish-mash was settled between the Others, Oma and Anubis, you were left with the choice to ... stay dead or ascend."

"Uh-huh."

"And yet ... here you are."

"And yet, here I am."

"Finally he speaks. I was getting tired of those affirmative grunts."

"Uh-huh."

"Jerk," he said fondly. "Okay, so here you are, in spite of two choices, either of which would have left you anywhere but here."

"Uh-huh."

Jack started to drum his fingers across Daniel's abdomen. Close wasn't cutting it for him. Dead or ascended, and yet Daniel was in his arms.

Only one answer.

"So basically, the Others were so taken with you, so dazzled by your brilliance, your generosity, your unflagging spirit, your—"

"Dear God," Daniel muttered under his breath.

Thunking him on the side of the head again, Jack went on as if uninterrupted.

"... courage, your unselfishness, your ability to die over and over and over and over again, and always very dramatically and with great panache—"

"Panache?"

"You know, dashing and flamboyant? Panache." He paused for effect and then added, "Or an ornamental tuft of feathers on a helmet."

"Ah, that panache."

"So where were we?"

"I was dying either flamboyantly or with a tuft of... feathers."

"Right. So with all that, they just naturally had to let you come back, so they dropped you, naked, into my office."

If he'd been a peacock, he'd have been preening.

"Don't preen too soon, Jack."

Damn, how did he always do that?

"I am not preening. But I am right."

"Well, not ... precisely. You see, in order not to die – maybe I should back up a bit. When Oma helps an individual ascend, they have to give up their corporeal self, thus, in effect, they have to die. But that's a choice, not always the outcome should the individual not ascend."

"You mean... like you ... the first time?"

"Uhm. Yeah. Jacob was healing me, although it wouldn't have been ... well, you know. But in order to ascend, I had to die."

"But on the replicator ship, you were already dead."

"Uhm. Yeah."

"So your only choice was to ascend. Which you obviously had to do. Then they simply did what they did before. They sent you back."

"Uhm. No. Not exactly like before. That's a one time deal only. Can't be done a second time. Don't know why, never learned the answer to that, but it's pretty much out of their hands. That's why Oma told me this was it."

Jack was really getting that icky feeling now. "Ahem? Allow me to remind you that you are here and you already confirmed that you're real."

"Uh-huh."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Affirmative grunts again. Okay, so give me a minute, I'll figure this out."

"Take all the time you need. I'm comfortable and not going anywhere."

"Damn right, you're not."

So Jack thought. But the more he thought, the more unlikely his only conclusion became. On the other hand, it was the only conclusion he could come to.

God, now he had a headache.

But damn it, it was the only conclusion.

"Let me just refresh my memory on something. Anubis ascended, but the Others kind of kicked him out but not very well, and he kind of was a – sort of – half-ascended being. Right?"

"Uh-huh."

Okay, that was a very interesting affirmative grunt. That was a "You're this close, Jack" grunt.

"So obviously if a spunk like Anubis could be a half-ascended being, then someone like you could certainly be half-ascended. Thus, you wouldn't be bothering the Others by running around and constantly wanting to change things—"

"No, instead, I get to bother you."

"So I'm right, then. You're half-ascended."

"Or half-descended. Depends on your point of view."

"Half-empty, half-full, who cares. What kind of magic mumbo-jumbo can you do?"

"Jaaaack."

"Hey, I'm curious. And I'm the guy in your bed, you know? I think I have a right."

Slowly Daniel turned over. Pushing himself up, he straddled Jack, careful to do his best to keep most of his weight off Jack's lower extremities. "You do. So let me show you a few things now," he said with devilish grin. He quickly undid Jack's jeans and pulled the zipper down. "Well, would you look at what we have here," he said with a gleam in his eye.

"Nothing a high-falutin', semi-glowy person would be interested in," Jack said even as Daniel was unbuttoning his shirt.

"Oh, I beg to differ. This semi-glowy person knows exactly how best to deal with ... this."

"Give it your best shot, Danny-boy. Give it your best shot."

***

Janet knew she shouldn't be here, but who could resist? She floated gently down in front of the patio doors just in time to see Daniel ... straddle ... Jack.

All right, maybe she shouldn't be here – really.

She made no move to leave – until the shutters suddenly snapped shut in her face.

Now that was dirty pool. And who would have thought sweet Daniel had it in him? And after all she'd done for him too. Of course, she could just open them up again -- or better still – she could just – kind of – float in. She could do that.

But she wouldn't.

She could, but it would be wrong. Very wrong. A total misuse of her abilities. Sacrilegious, even. Or something like that. She sighed. Best to just move on and leave them alone. Happy, but alone. Sexy, but alone. Together, but alone.

She couldn't help but wonder if there were still fish in Jack's lake.

She suspected not. Grinning, she blinked out.

The End

 

  
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